Don’t Worry, Be Happy

It’s come to my attention that some people are concerned about me based on what they have read on my blog.

Stop!

I’m fine. My life is super-awesome. I have a new flute,

 

I have a great group of friends,

 

and I’m choreographing one dance and participating in another dance for Orchesis II, a dance group on campus.

 

My life is really great, and I am happy.

But I do have a tendency to focus on the gaps in my life instead of where it’s full, and this is what my art tends to be about as well.

 

I know right now this blog has been tipped towards negativity, and shows an inaccurate portrait of my life. From now on, I will try to post more of my joys.

After all:
“Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light.”
-Albus Dumbledore

“To Shoreless Lands”/Parallels from “Company”

So today, I learned about the musical “Company”, written by Stephen Sondheim. Its main character, Robert, third wheels more than I do, which is impressive. His only friends are 5 couples, most of them married.

It’s a pretty awesome musical, but the finale song, “Being Alive,” breaks my heart. In Musical Theatre I class, our professor had us listen to this song with the lights off, and I cried about halfway through. As a rule I don’t cry in public, but it was dark, and as no one saw me, no one can actually prove I was crying.

Anyways, I wrote a new poem yesterday. You’ll find it below and then the quote du jour. Enjoy!

To Shoreless Lands
By Maggie McGinity

I can’t explain.
This is insane.
But I feel no pain
Anymore.

Maybe I’m numb
Now those days are done
With all my hopes gone
Ship to shore

Shipped to shoreless lands,
To beachless sands.
Our last stand?
Oh, I doubt it.

My hands are tied.
My mouth has lied.
My eyes have cried
Without it.

I’m landlocked on all sides
I cannot fly
Or flee, by sea, awry
Away.

The sea’s ever-changing.
But these lives are staying
(Heartbreakingly)
The same.”

“Alone is alone, not alive.”
-“Being Alive,” by Stephen Sondheim

Aujourd’hui

Today went well :). I was worried it would go something like this:

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But instead, it went something like this:

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Although, apparently I had the choice of whether to make it a good day or bad day all along:

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But I didn’t learn this until I was already halfway through the day. Anyways, I resolved a lot, and learned a lot, and decided a lot.

Now I’m doing quite well, but I don’t think one of my friends is :(. These lyrics are for my friend, and should explain to you a bit of what’s going on in my life as well:

“Clinging to the remnants of perfection
Like most do after they break it
Not knowing which directions the correct one
Do I discard or remake it?

‘Cause if I don’t know then I don’t know
But I may know someone that knows me more than I
And if I somehow could rest this soul
Maybe control could find its way back to my life

But I don’t mind
You see I know that I have done all this to you
To you

And I feel fine
But I know the same does not apply to you
I know the same does not apply to you
So I guess that I’ll curl up and die, too.”

-“Curl Up and Die” by Relient K

“Stalemate”/Duality

Tomorrow I have to do something. Half of me is really excited about it; the other half is dreading it. Right now I kind of feel like Jekyll and Hyde, although I’m not killing anyone in Victorian London.

 

It’s a great musical, by the way. Anyways, my worrying about tomorrow and other things has led to a bit of duality of personality. I feel like I’m trying to accomplish two opposite yet related goals with the same action. I’m also not sure this action is the right action, but I’ve made my decision and I’m going to follow through. This leads me to the quote of the day:

“Every step that you take
Could be your biggest mistake
It could bend or it could break
That’s the risk that you take”
– “What If” by Coldplay

These days I tend get broken before I get the chance to bend. But that was the risk that I took, and the risk I keep taking. Speaking of risks, I wrote a new poem just hours ago. Read it, please:

“Stalemate
by Maggie McGinity

I’m mad at the world
I’m mad at myself
I can’t help but hurt
I can’t help but help

My eyes betray me
They will not save me
The lies I’ve been playing
On life will be preying

On my heart, on my ears,
On all of these fears.
My eyes will have no choice
But to look and see,
Right in front of me,
That which took my voice.”

I’m not sure if this poem is complete yet. I’m not sure what will happen tomorrow. But I can say one thing with certainty:

It’s definitely time to break out the emergency chocolate.

 

Please send me good vibes tomorrow if you get a chance. Wish me luck!

“Trifecta”

I spend a lot of time with my roommate Sarah and her boyfriend Nick. I’ve actually known Nick for a lot longer than I’ve known Sarah. Nick and I met in high school when we were trying to get two of our mutual friends who were dating to actually enjoy each other’s company. It was harder than it sounds.

Nick got to ISU a year before me and during that year he became friends with Sarah. About a month into their sophomore year(my freshman year), they started dating, and I met Sarah, who I should have met before anyways because she was in my music theory classes. Sarah and I became fast friends.

Nowadays, we all spend a lot of time together studying or playing games, and as such I have become a professional third wheel.

This is what the following poem is about. Enjoy!

“Trifecta
by Maggie McGinity

Sarah and Nicholas
Are quite ridi-co-las
When they hang out at night

For Nicholas and Sarah
Know how to care-ah
For each other just right

And lonely Maggie
Can’t get naggy
When they act so cute

She wants to follow
Where her heart goes
But the point is moot.”