I am always in a state of anticipation. I don’t know what I’m waiting for. Something. I don’t know what. I used to. I don’t know now.
This poem is about waiting. I wrote it about six months ago. It’s one of my favorite things I’ve written, especially since it reminds me that my poems have lives of their own. One line in this poem gained some new meaning about a month and a half ago. Enjoy!
By Maggie McGinity
If I can’t hold you half the time
How do I know I have you?
If I’m not without you half the time
How do I know I’m with you?
‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder.’
I can not say if it’s true
For day by day I grow more resentful
And this path you choose
Which leads you away from me
And then back again, allegedly.
One word from my mouth
Could not reach your ears
One word from my pen
Would not reach your eyes
For four days
And another four back to me
If you have time to write
It’s the waiting that’s frustrating
It’s the waiting that I hate
But lived my life in hesitation
I know there are worser fates.
Had I broken before the time began
Or before the time was through
I would still stand
As I do now
I’m missing you
But as hearts so hindered halt to heal fast
I would not get you back,
And I could not see another take your place
So I wait.”
“We never live; we are always in the expectation of living.”