‘But you’ (new poem)

You know how sometimes people give you a “present” and say it’s for you, but it’s really for them? I had a whole relationship like that once. Not that I was entirely innocent in my intentions, but I’m a rifle, not a shotgun. I don’t scattershot. I take a long time to decide to shoot for something, but when I do, it’s a concentrated effort. I shoot from far away, and I try to shoot for where you’ll be, not where you are. Someday my shot will hit. It’ll be too late.

Meanwhile, I’ve been hit with an emotional buckshot. I thought it was a metaphorical bullet, didn’t realize the same shell which hit me might’ve hit others as well. I was ignoring my wounds, then I sought out a way to heal them and ended up with salt in them. This poem should’ve stopped me from doing that, but it didn’t. I wrote it on June 13, 2012. Enjoy!

But you
By Maggie McGinity

I don’t understand how miles
Can make a man so weak.
I don’t understand how weeks
Make me so incomplete.

You think that I can’t understand
Death’s heavy weight upon the chest.
How could you forget
The many months I slept
(or tried to sleep)
with Death waiting
Where I wiped my feet?

I have revered, feared, and loved Death too freely.
It was not Death,
But the assumption it would be
Which took you from me.
The assumption that I would not, could not
Wander to and fro,
That a place, not a person,
Should constitute my home.
Oh, little boy,
How little do you know.

I could have been anyone
Though a wiser anyone might have run
Instead of running right into you
You could not have been anyone
But you.
Yes, I was looking for a way out
Something to be around
Something to be about
But my pursuit was true:

There was nothing else
There was no one else
There was never us
But you.”

Quote:

“The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.”
-P.G. Wodehouse

And if you have a chance, listen to “More Than I Should” by Hunter Hayes. The whole song basically applies, but I feel that posting all the lyrics to the song would be a bit much.

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