It’s Sunday where I live and I’m still allowed to complain for the next couple of hours. So….
Let me tell you a bit about my love life:
It’s currently nonexistent, although if you’ve read some of my previous poems, you’ll know it was once very much existent, and now is usually mostly not.
Except for me, all of the girls in my friend group are in long-term committed relationships, so I tend to focus a lot on their relationships. I hang out with a lot of couples simply because I’m friends with a lot of couples. Take, for example, Nick and Sarah. When I spend time alone with them, it usually goes something like this:
In fact, it’s generally not much better when I hang out with a lot of couples:
Sometimes I get sick of feeling odd and hang out with my single male friends, which I also have a lot of. I also focus on their relationships, but in different ways. They think I’m some kind of relationship guru and come to me asking for advice on pursuing certain girls simply because I have a second X chromosome where they have a Y. I think that some of them are cute or handsome or charming and subsequently develop pointless crushes on them. Pointless because they’ve friend-zoned me.
This is frustrating, obviously, but I never try to get out of it because I’m incredibly shy, insecure, and afraid of ruining friendships. Also, this:
So, being the passive-aggressive woman that I am, I wrote a poem about it instead. I started working on this two weeks ago and finished it a few minutes ago. Here’s hoping one of my friends reads it. Enjoy!
“Forget my Heart
By Maggie McGinity
I’m tired of being passed up for the past,
Deemed unfit for the future,
Being pressed upon that my presence
In the present
Do not seek me in heart’s folly,
Do not page me in love’s games.
I am not a genie jolly
With solutions for your pain.
Do not tell me of the girls
Whom you want to make your world.
Don’t show me your hopes and dreams
For mine are not as they seem.
I’m tired of being the ears which hear,
‘Those eyes so blue, those eyes so clear.’
I don’t want to hear them mooning ‘she’s the one’
When all my mooning days are done.
I’m tired of being a point of deflection
A shoulder to sob on ’cause you can’t get their affection
A habitat for hope’s resurrection
To point you in the right direction
When the ‘right’ direction is away from me.
It’s childish hurt and jealousy
But it won’t win me, wait and see.
I’ll grin and bear it, hopelessly.
Your happiness is what I want
Though it is not myself whom you hunt.
I’ll smile at you, though I know better,
Forget my heart, and say, ‘Go get her.'”
Alternate titles include “I’m pretty, too. Why don’t you like me?”, “The Friend Zone: Not Just for Guys Anymore,” “‘And then, do you know, Monsieur Marius, I believe I was a little in love with you,'” and “The Poem with Five Names.”
“Without me, his world will go on turning.
A world that’s full of happiness that I have never known.”
-“On My Own,” from the musical “Les Miserables”