‘I Am Not’ (new poem)

I never take my laptop anywhere. It’s 4 years old and bulky, dies within minutes of being unplugged, and, if it’s sitting on a soft, fabricky surface or my lap, overheats within an hour(though not when I use the awesome laptop fan my awesome friend Bob let me use last night while studying, might have to invest it one).   It’s also close to 10 pounds, and has a fairly large screen, so it’s too bulky and heavy to stick in my backpack and carry around with me. Oh, how I long to purchase a Macbook Air. Alas.

Anyways, since I don’t carry my laptop but I do need to do things online(a lot), when I’m stuck away from my dorm room I spend a lot of time in computer labs, like I’m doing right now. I’ve grown frustrated with listening to my iPod(it’s full of random Music History listening examples. I’m not always in the mood for chants and huge opera scenes), so I’ve taken to listening to the Summer Hits of the ’90s(aka my childhood) station on Pandora. Therefore, all the quotes today are from summer hits of the ’90s, and the poem’s a bit inspired by them as well. Enjoy!

I Am Not
By Maggie McGinity

I do try to keep my distance,
Build up a little resistance,
But I’ll take any assistance
You offer to give.

I’m waiting for a renaissance
A way around this deathly danse
A new pièce de résistance:
Change the way I live.

I love these paths, I love these streets,
But never, seems, the twain shall meet.
I lack the warmth, I lack the heat
I need to survive.

So within an evanescence
I sit, bored, beneath fluorescence
Bribing, begging, my true essence
To become alive.”

Quotes:

“And she only sleeps when it’s raining,
And she screams, and her voice is straining”
-“3 AM” by Matchbox Twenty

“You’re waiting for someone
To put you together
You’re waiting for someone to push you away
There’s always another wound to discover
There’s always something more you wish he’d say”
-“Everything You Want” by Vertical Horizon

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