‘Oldfangled’ (new poem)

Don’t worry.

This poem probably isn’t about you.

I just don’t like being boxed in

and I have an Irish temper

and a poetic mind

so sometimes angry words appear and I have to write them down and get them out.

This is them. Enjoy!

Oldfangled
By Maggie McGinity

I am not a problem to be solved.
I am the most complex and complicated thing.
I am a human being. 

I will not subscribe to your rules and regulations.
I exist within my own specific situations.
You are not an expert in any variation. 

I do not have extra time
On the other side
Of this night.
I will not bring
These things I hide
Into your light.
I could not stand the scrutiny,
Speculation,
Dissolution,
Irony,
The constant stream of rejection
(Comparatively).

I will not fit in your rubric
I will not check into your box
I will pull a Stanley Kubrick
I will simply switch the locks 

I was not made to be studied.

I was made to be
Loved
Respected
Understood
Protected
Allowed to do good
But never studied 

And so it seems I’ve buddied,
Casually, and clearly,
Into the wrong space
I’m now so entangled
By bonds oldfangled
I can’t ever leave this place 

It stings
It burns
It rings
It churns
It yearns
Across my face 

No one ever sees it
If they do, they don’t decree it
I’m sure some would agree it
Could be. While others would disagree
Vehemently
(I’m not worthy)

I am not a problem to be solved
I am not an earth to be revolved
Around.
I am lost.
I am found.

But I’ll see what others would not see
And I’ll be what others would not be
And I will sit, lament my misery
And keep producing precious poetry
(Consolation prize – bad company).”

Quotes:

“I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I’m becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you”
-“Numb” by Linkin Park

“I’m drowning in my doubts
Am I up or, am I down?
The water spins me round
Couldn’t tell you what I’ve found”
-“Drowning” by Maggie McGinity

“Set me free
Leave me be
I don’t want to fall another moment into your gravity”
-“Gravity” by Sara Bareilles

“Sometimes I’m terrified of my heart; of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. The way it stops and starts.”
-Edgar Allan Poe

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