A couple weeks ago, I abandoned a few blog post plans, and now I’m going back to them.
I’ve loved, played, performed, and sung this song basically since the album it’s on, “The Open Door,” came out in 2006. It was around that time that I began my on-again, off-again love affair and mildly unhealthy obsession with Evanescence. Never has the love gone, but there have been periods of my life when I didn’t listen to their music very much.
There are a few lessons I want people to learn from this Pick, and here they are:
- It’s OK to be sad sometimes. It’s OK to be angry sometimes.
- If someone tells you to stop listening to certain sad/angry music, it could be because they are trying to distract you from the fact that it is not the music, but in fact the person who is making you sad and angry.
- Never let someone control the music you do or do not listen to. Some sublessons:
- Music recommendations, suggestions, and discussions are always allowed as long as you allow them. These things are healthy and can be a great way to connect with people.
- If your teacher/professor/boss assigns you things to listen to, please listen to them. Lord knows I have many assigned listenings and I do listen to those.
- The main thing is that if someone is trying to control your music choices and listening, one of the most deeply personal ways of not only expressing yourself and your feelings but coping with life and all the good and bad things that come with it, you need to step away from that person, and you should step away as soon as possible.
- It’s OK to be sad sometimes. It’s OK to be happy sometimes. It’s OK to be both at once. You don’t have to be just one thing. You don’t have to be just one emotion.
- Feel the feelings you feel and try not to let anyone make you feel guilty or ashamed for feeling those things. Your feelings are almost always legitimate and justified just by essence of existing. Know that you can’t always control your own feelings, and you can rarely to never control the feelings of others (not that you should try, but if you can help foster a positive change, that would be good). Know that it’s OK. You’re OK. You’re human. I’m human. We are all humans (except for the holograms and the androids and the vampires, but this post isn’t really about them).
- The only time your feelings really become a problem is if they endanger and/or damage you or someone else, if they get in the way of you living a relatively normal life. Not that normal is a thing, but there are just some basic life things that your feelings shouldn’t get in the way of you doing, and if they are, you should maybe talk to someone about that. Or just listen to some really good music until you feel better, or do whatever it is you need to do to feel better.
- It’s OK to not have feelings for or about certain people, issues, activities, etc. It is not OK to have no feelings at all, especially if you definitely used to have feelings. This would be another thing to talk to someone about.
Not that you have to listen to me. These are just things that I think people might want/need to hear, and things I’ve heard listening to this song on repeat many, many times. For me, this song used to be about a person, but now it’s just about me. I am the constant around which I solve for all the other variables of my life. Unfortunately, I’m unpredictable.
All this advice is, of course, made more complicated by this quote:
Anyways. After all that, finally, the Pick.
It should also be said that I absolutely adore this music video. It looks like this song feels.